I joined the Marines after high school and chose to enlist in the reserves because I had been accepted into a local college. While studying art I served with my reserve unit, often volunteering for extra duties, training, etc. After 9/11 I thought I might go to Afghanistan and asked to attend Winter Mountain Warfare Training in Bridgeport, CA. Also in 2001, but a few months prior to 9/11 an active duty sergeant at my unit committed suicide.
My unit was activated in January of 2003, and while we were a combat support unit and I was in supply, our unit was activated to train in mortuary affairs. We were told we would deploy following the training, but that did not happen. Instead the unit was split up and those left in Marietta went to Iraq. Other than that we were spread around the country, and some were in Djibouti. I was stuck stateside and stayed on active duty for a few months. While the unit was gone I began to experience a sense of loss and betrayal to them, and this could also be expressed through feelings of shame and guilt. When the unit was back together I listened to many of their stories while in Iraq and the magnified the internal separation I had been feeling, as well as created some deep seated anger in some of my chain of command, at our politicians, and country.
In some ways I joined IVAW out of that anger, but in other ways it is quite simply out of devotion to other veterans and trying to get them all home from a war that should never have started in the first place. It took a few years for me to join IVAW after hearing about but ultimately the war in Iraq did affect me, it did impact my years of service, and it has taken a toll in the way I process things internally. IVAW is a community of veterans that have all been affected by the wars going on, and one where I have found great meaning. I am glad to be a part of this community. A big part of me joining IVAW was an internal response after reading a biography of Bayard Rustin; thinking about his life work and my own privilege .
