Skip to main content

ATTENTION: This site is no longer active but remains as an archive.

Iraq Veterans Against the War has become About Face: Veterans Against the War. About Face can be found at aboutfaceveterans.org

Iraq Veterans Against the War

Join IVAW

Donate to IVAW

  • About
    • Founding of IVAW
    • Mission, Values, and Vision
    • War in Afghanistan
    • Why We Are against the Wars
    • Resolutions
    • IVAW Timeline
    • Board of Directors
    • Advisory Committee
    • Staff
  • Events
  • Campaigns
    • Operation Recovery
    • Winter Soldier
      • Breakdown of the Military
      • Civilian Testimony
      • Corporate Pillaging
      • Cost of War at Home
      • Crisis in Veterans Healthcare
      • Future of GI Resistance
      • Gender and Sexuality
      • Legacy of GI Resistance
      • Racism and War
      • Response to DoD
      • Rules of Engagement
      • Press Coverage
      • Press Releases
    • Right to Heal
  • Members
  • Resources
    • AWOL
    • Active Duty
    • Conscientious Objector
    • Depleted Uranium
    • History of Resistance
    • IRR Reactivation
    • Lariam
    • PTSD
    • Profiles of Resisters
    • Resources for Veterans
    • Stop Loss
    • Women's Resources
    • Mesothelioma
  • Press
  • Contact
    • Press
    • Speaker Request

Veteran of War: A Poem

published by Jennifer Cole on 11/10/14 11:43am

It is very difficult for me to form words that can accurately express how I feel. Poetry has been one of the most effective ways for me to communicate my feelings, but it can only express symbolically how I feel. Being a veteran isn't easy, but I will touch on that tomorrow when I post another poem. Today, I wanted to share a poem that expressed the totality of how I feel on any given day. It is not easy to read, but it wasn't easy to write either. 

Veteran of War

I feel like my soul has built up a damn

I don’t know how to break it or change it

I’ve had this deep sense of despair

I can’t shake it and I can’t let it out

As the emotions sit inside me they churn into rage

I feel sadness and anger build up behind my eyes

But nothing will come out

No matter how heartbroken I feel

Nor how many tears build up behind my eyes

The damn will not break

The war I experienced still echoes on this earth

The Iraqis have been poisoned by our weapons

Bombs are once again being dropped on Iraq

And I can’t do a fucking thing about it

I can’t stop all the death

I can’t protect the Iraqis

I can’t take back my going there

I can’t end the suffering

I constantly fear Iraq

I remember it every day

Different events that occurred

Fires, bombs, conversations, fears, and realizations

I will never again be that naïve woman who got on the plane at 22

I will never be able bodied and of sound mind like I was then

I don’t know how to overcome these memories that erupt from my mind

I don’t know how reconcile with feeling like a coward

I didn’t want to go

I would have done almost anything to get out of it

But I didn’t run

I followed my orders

I made friendships and I lost a friend

I felt more fear than I ever felt in my life

And I can’t even express the terror

I can’t express it completely through words, art, or physically

The fear breached all levels of my communication

It sticks with me like tar

I feel like my body and mind have turned against me

They no longer work with me

My body is a vessel that is constantly broken

I am in constant pain all day and all night

There is no ceasing my pain

I can only ebb it

Fatigue weighs on me like Kevlar gear in the hot sun

The simplest of tasks now require more than I have to give

I feel pathetic and incapable

I have a soul that is independent

Trapped in a body

And controlled by a mind

That are dependent

To see other poems and works about war and what it is like to be a veteran, please see http://lezvet.blogspot.com/

I Threw My Medal Back Because The Enemy Is Not In Afghanistan

I returned my NATO medal because we have lost our focus on Al Qaeda, I don't agree with Karzai requesting NATO 4.1B a year for the next ten years for his Army, the U.S. funds 60% of NATOs budget while our country is in a...

Hear us: IVAW medal return transcript and Democracy Now! coverage.

On May 20th, 45 veterans of the wars in Afghanistan, Iraq and the global war on terror led by Iraq Veterans Against the War symbolically rejected their service medals and the lies they represent by lobbing them towards the...

Veterans Who Oppose War Are Your Army

I had zero disciplinary issues. I was the Distinguished Honor Graduate of B Co. 787 MP Battalion at Fort Leonard Wood, and some of the MP buddies I deployed with to Firebase Waza Khwa and FOB Salerno were among the Chicago...

Throwing My Medal Back Is Doing What I Think Is Right

I had a lot of thoughts and feelings to sort through as we marched through the streets, and prepared to return our medals. I had struggled with questions about how my former platoon would accept what I was doing, as well as...

NATO - Take My Global War On Terror Medal - I Am Not Afraid

I was a Nuclear Biological Chemical Weapons Specialist for a war that didn't have any Weapons of Mass Destruction! So I deserted. I'm one of the 40,000 people that left the United States Armed Forces because this is a lie! I...
Aaron Hughes's picture

Veterans return medals during NATO protest

Pages

  • « First
  • ‹ Prev
  • …
  • 22
  • 23
  • 24
  • 25
  • 26
  • 27
  • 28
  • 29
  • 30
  • …
  • Next ›
  • Last »

Supporter Newsletter!

Donations

Make a single donation or become an IVAW sustainer by making your donation a recurring one. Please consider making your generous gift right now.
Donate Online Today!

Speaker Request

Please be advised that we get many speaker requests, but regret that we are sometimes unable to fill them.
Speaker Request

Joining IVAW

Iraq Veterans Against the War is open to Active Duty, National Guard and Reservists who have served since 09/11/2001.
Join IVAW

Navigation

  • About
  • Events
  • Campaigns
  • Committees
  • Chapters
  • Members
  • Resources
  • Contact