I have been thinking a lot about why I joined the military. I remember playing with GI Joe and pretending to be a soldier. I grew up watching World War II movies like Guadicanal Diaries, 30 Seconds over Tokyo, The Sands of Iwo Jima and the like. Serving in the military was honorable, patriotic, the right thing to do and something that every young man should do. During my high school years I thought I was unable to join because of “asthma”. Then came that fateful day in September 2001. I was a freshman in college – we received news that the White House had been hit by a plane; however, soon afterward the news was corrected and every television on campus was tuned into the media coverage of the twin towers, the pentagon and the field in PA. I never wanted to join the military so bad. I went out that afternoon and cut my classic men’s haircut to a military high and tight. I spoke to my parents about enlisting… they wanted me to finish school and since they were paying for it, I was willing to wait. It would be four long years later before I was able to join. In August of 2005, I was at an air show at the local Air Force Reserve base and I saw the army recruiters. I asked one of them if asthma was a reason someone couldn’t join – he replied that as long as the person could pass the PT test, they were in… I was thrilled – I enlisted about a week later as an Army Reserve MP. I shipped off to Ft. Leonard Wood, MO just 13 days after I took the oath.

My story is similar to hundreds of thousands of soldiers who have signed up to defend freedom, protect America or free the oppressed masses from a brutal dictator. We sign up with good intentions. We want to better ourselves; pave the way to a college degree; get some kind of financial stability. We are not monsters: we are not killing machines; we are brothers and sisters, sons and daughters; fathers and mothers; just people looking to better our country, our world, and ourselves. We have good intentions and willing hearts. We give up our freedoms and place our trust in those who are responsible for sending us into battle. We have no reason to doubt them – they are soldiers too – they will always make the right decision.

Sadly, the military has taken our youthful passion and deep-seated ideals and has twisted them to serve corporate interests and political goals. Instead of defending freedom, we are the instruments of oppression. Instead of bringing peace to the world, we spread conflict and battle; instead of saving life, we destroy it. The military has betrayed the American soldier. They have taken the freshest, most passionate of human beings and trained them in the art of killing. They help you overcome your fear of killing. They vilify the enemy – they tell rousing stories of the warriors that have gone before and they tell terrible stories of the treachery of the enemy. They teach you to destroy the enemy (whom ever he may be) without regard for own safety. Mission first; Follow Orders. There are no courses on what to do when the highest military leadership gets it wrong. There is no briefing on what to do when you wake up and find your ideals are just empty pipe dreams, and all those idealistic visions you had of serving are just Hollywood legend.

Every year, more and more soldiers are waking up. Some are waking up because of their experiences in combat, while others are waking up because of some other life experience such as the birth of a child, marriage, something they read …etc. For those who see or experience this betrayal, it can feel a lot like Neo when he was told that the world he lived and believed in was nothing more that a carefully constructed fantasy. They don’t know what to believe anymore. Their entire world collapses around them: they become depressed, suicidal, or narcissistic. With no person to turn to, disillusioned veterans often turn to drugs or alcohol, self-medicating their pain away. While the government refuses to do anything other than symbolic gestures, the soldiers and their families pay the price. For many soldiers, this self-destructive behavior is often successful. The suicide rates for soldiers are astronomical! In 2007, more than 5 soldiers tried to kill themselves every day! One study in 2007 stated:
“ One age group stood out. Veterans aged 20 through 24, those who have served during the war on terror. They had the highest suicide rate among all veterans, estimated between two and four times higher than civilians the same age. (The suicide rate for non-veterans is 8.3 per 100,000, while the rate for veterans was found to be between 22.9 and 31.9 per 100,000.)” (http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/13/cbsnews_investigates/main34964...)
While the government and many conservatives claim that bloodshed is over, we have yet to see the real casualties. We must add hundreds of soldiers to the casualty count.

What help is out there for veterans? The VA is under-funded and overwhelmed. The internal unofficial climate in the military is “tough it out” or “suck it up and drive on”. Sure – there are the obligatory Power Point presentations delivered by an officer because it has to be checked off a list of required briefings – they are about as helpful as a pie chart is to the driver of a car dangling off a cliff. The few private GI outreach organizations are overwhelmed, and during the strained economy, they too face a shortage of funding. A few soldiers are turning to faith: the number of conscientious objectors is on the rise, but the vast majority of soldiers in need of help simply drift along: alone in a sea of people.

I have tried for two days to finish this article. Every ending has seemed cheap and forced. Then tonight it hit me: there is no end – there is no conclusion. Although the Obama administration has taken several steps in the right direction, the betrayal continues. Every year, over 80,000 young men and women sign their lives away. Soldiers continue to be deployed in support of wars of aggression and revenge. Veterans continue to struggle to receive basic medical and psychiatric care from a broken system. The drive and passion of American youth is still being manipulated for political power. When will it end?

It will end when we the people refuse to allow violence in our name; when we, the soldiers and veterans, refuse to be used like pawns in a chess game. We, the people of America and citizens of the world, must send a message to the leaders of this country. It must echo off the canyons and mountains; it must resound through the woods and over the rivers: we will no longer stand by as silent witnesses to the betrayal of the American soldier!