When I enlisted, I was so excited to be doing what I was doing and was just thrilled to be serving. Throughout my infantry training in Fort Benning, GA, I stayed motivated and graduated with high scores. When I got back to Wisconsin, I was informed that my infantry unit out of Oconomowoc was being disbanded and transformed into the 105th Cavalry. Instead of going to that unit, I drilled at a Recruit Sustainment Program company with soldiers who had not yet been trained for almost five months until I was told to pick a new job. I chose a paralegal specialist slot in the Oak Creek Guard unit and rolled with the punches. Upon my transfer to my new unit, I quickly learned new tasks in assisting with the S-1 section at that unit. When given the chance to do some on the job paralegal training at Fort McCoy with the JAG Corps, I jumped at the opportunity. During my drills with the JAG Corps I helped process over one thousand soldiers scheduled to deploy to Iraq in 2009. Many of these soldiers needed wills, powers of attorney, health care powers of attorney, and guidance with setting up family care plans.

Though I enjoy serving soldiers and my country and excel at what I do, I grew to notice a negative atmosphere in the military. Much of this is caused by prejudice, homophobia, ignorance, and sexism. Being bisexual myself, this bothered me, and I noticed myself wanting to speak out many times. I hesitated though because of a fear of being looked down on or causing suspicions of my sexual orientation. After a while this atmosphere of intolerance and misunderstanding grew to be too much. After much consideration I decided to come out as a bisexual serving in the WI Army National Guard. I approached this as an opportunity to protest a policy (Don't Ask, Don't Tell) that I believe is the cause of so much hate and fear towards the LGBT community. Now that I am out, I feel a weight off my shoulders. I hope the actions of those who do come out will help those who feel trapped to gain courage and not feel so alone.

Now, I'm facing an uphill battle. On July 1st I received a letter from my command notifying me that I am in fact being discharged, and that my commander was recommending an "under other than honorable conditions" discharge. I then immediately looked up the regulations of characterization of discharge and the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. There were no grounds on which to recommend such a discharge. I had never admitted to homosexual acts, much less ever having committed "aggravating" acts of force or coercion. I notified my command that I found a mistake on their part and intended to fight it. I was told there was no mistake, however about a week later I received another letter. This was exactly except for one change. I was now being recommended a "general (under honorable conditions)" discharge. Though some would see this as a victory, it is just another slap in the face, discriminatory and harassing. During my service in the Guard, I have always been motivated, proactive, flexible and honorable. To give me anything less than an honorable discharge, plain and simple, just for saying I am bisexual is not lawful and even more discriminatory than kicking me out in the first place. Though I don't agree with every policy, I have never spoken out while in uniform, regarded it as the opinion of the Army or ever let it effect my job performance. I joined to serve, and that's what I'm doing. I'm standing up for the principals this country was founded on and the Army values of loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage. Now, for standing up and saying, "This is who I am, and this is a backwards policy," I am wrongfully facing a general discharge. This would almost certainly result in loss of benefits and having to pay back thousands of dollars I earned while dutifully serving in the Guard.

Not only has my view on issues of sexuality in the military helped me develop in my time in service, but also my views on this war and violence in general. I now realize that violence and acts of anger or vengeance are never the answer. I joined to serve, and our military is only causing more distress and chaos in this world. I wish I served a just cause, but I do not. The only thing I can appreciate about what I do is serving those I serve with, and that's what I'm trying to do by coming out as a bisexual, speaking out for women, and joining the activist peace movement. What we all need is significant change. Change of heart, change of action, and change of pace.